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  I can't tell if I'm dealing with life better now or if I just don't give a shit

  Price$5
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  Alexa, turn my feelings off

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  Happy birthday! Instead of gray hair may you grow tinsel

  Price$5
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  You get a little older...you get a little wiser...what a lousy trade off

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  On this birthday do what makes you sparkle

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  Happy Birthday old friend...Oh wait...did I day old?

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  This aging shit is getting old!

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  Of course life is a bitch...If it was a Slut it would be way too easy

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  Do people who pay for therapy know they can eat ice cream straight out of the...

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  I'm sorry...Did I just roll my eyes out loud?

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  Sorry...The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock

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  I want someone I can share my life with who will leave me alone most of the time

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  He would unplug your life support to charge his phone

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  My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane

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  I can't decide which is worse...safe or sorry

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  Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

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  My life feels like a test I didn't study for

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  Most of the time it's just the two of us...my sense of humor and me

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  An optimist believes we live in the best possible world...a pessimist fears..etc

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  "It's all make believe isn't it?" ~Marilyn Monroe

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