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I can't tell if I'm dealing with life better now or if I just don't give a shit
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Alexa, turn my feelings off
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Happy birthday! Instead of gray hair may you grow tinsel
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You get a little older...you get a little wiser...what a lousy trade off
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On this birthday do what makes you sparkle
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Happy Birthday old friend...Oh wait...did I day old?
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This aging shit is getting old!
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Of course life is a bitch...If it was a Slut it would be way too easy
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Do people who pay for therapy know they can eat ice cream straight out of the...
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I'm sorry...Did I just roll my eyes out loud?
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Sorry...The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock
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I want someone I can share my life with who will leave me alone most of the time
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He would unplug your life support to charge his phone
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My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane
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I can't decide which is worse...safe or sorry
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Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
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My life feels like a test I didn't study for
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Most of the time it's just the two of us...my sense of humor and me
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An optimist believes we live in the best possible world...a pessimist fears..etc
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"It's all make believe isn't it?" ~Marilyn Monroe
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